God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
3pm strippers are depressing
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
and you fell through a lawn chair
Randomize
