she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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