And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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