uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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