I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
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