you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
we should paint friendship bongs
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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