Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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