yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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