There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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