AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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