I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
