My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
This is classic penis vs brain.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
The struggles of a small town man whore
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
