SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
