it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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