Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Randomize
