You work out of a Hotel?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
