How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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