You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
