If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
