I can tuck mytits in my pants
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
