another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Randomize
