He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
