the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
dude. I can hear the air.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
