tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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