I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Randomize
