so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Randomize
