he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
So gin and wine won't be happening again
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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