Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
