I want to stick my p in your. b.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Randomize
