so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I will pee on everything he values.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
