There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
