my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
