i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
