coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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