im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
