I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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