maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I take back everything I said about communal showers
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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