And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
