So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
