those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
