that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
