Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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