The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
