then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
