Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I skipped work to stalk him.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
