Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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