I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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