Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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