just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Randomize
