I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I will be naked everywhere
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I have feelings that need drinking.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
