I got chris browned last night
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
