check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
