I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
