I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
