If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
