No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize
