The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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