The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
