We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
