After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Randomize
