Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
You are the jesus of drinking
Randomize
