watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize