My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
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