I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
