Is it because I queefed?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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