is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
