there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
